Calyx pattern

The calyx is the ring of leaves behind a flower’s petals. It often is left behind attached to the top of the fruit, as in the case of an eggplant, strawberry, tomato, or persimmon.

We randomly have a lot of royal purple tulle, and so I suggested to DH that he could be an eggplant for Halloween. He loved the idea, but said he needed a stem & leaves, so I knit some.
There weren’t any patterns that were at all what I was looking for, so I made one up.

My original pattern has 4 leaves, and I really wish it had 5, so here’s the pattern re-written for 5 leaves. This (knitted with chunky yarn) fits an average man’s head (not tightly). For someone smaller, use smaller yarn & needles.

CO 8 sts on sz 8 needles.
I-cord 1”
Switch to sz 10 needles, I cord 2 rows.
Join in round, knit one row.
*KF&B* repeat around row.
K 1 row.
*KF&B, K1*.
K 1 row.
*KF&B K2*.
K 1 row.
*KF&B, K4*.
K 1 row.
Make every 4th stitch a purl to delineate the leaves and their veins. Keep these stitches as purls throughout, increasing around them (use stitch markers if necessary).
Continue increase pattern (keeping purl ditches as established) until 80 sts.
Knit 1” (I didn’t do this and really wish I had)

Knit back & forth on the first 16 stitches to make one leaf:
Sl1, K6, P1, K8
Sl1, Purl.
Sl1, K6, p1, K6, K2 tog. (15sts)
Sl1, purl.
Sl1, K1, PSSO, K5, p1, K5, K2 tog (13 sts)
s1, purl.
Sl1, K1, PSSO, K4, p1, K4, K2 tog (11 sts)
s1, purl.
Sl1, K1, PSSO, K3, p1, K3, K2tog. (9 sts)
s1, purl.
Sl1, K1, PSSO, K2, p1, K2, K2tog. (7 sts)
s1, purl.
Sl1, K1, PSSO, K1, p1, K1, K2tog. (5 sts)
s1, purl.
Sl1, K1, PSSO, p1, K2tog. (3 sts)
Last row: sl1, P 1, PSSO, K1, BO 1, tie off last stitch.

Repeat this for the other 4 leaves. Wear & be fruity or vegetable-ey as you please! (Though botanically speaking, they’re all fruits.)

To make this into a strawberry cap, knit the main part of the cap an extra inch or so before splitting off the leaves. Then do the leaves each as 8 sts wide instead of 16.

For a tomato, split the leaves off after an inch, but again make them 8 sts wide, and do extra straight rows between each decrease to make them longer). This gives 10 leaves instead of 5.

How weird are we?

Since March is apparently "National Crafts Month" I thought I should attempt to chronicle the weirdness that is our crafty household. Also at some point I read an article in Sunset about "the next hip food-crafty trends" or something similar. It listed about 6 "new" things all the cool foodies should try. I realized we'd already done 5 of the 6 things.
Also the big interest in Pinterest cracks me up, because it really seems like a site for people that wish they were craftier than they actually are (but instead they spend hours online trolling for pretty pictures of food and crafts). I actually do make those weird, complicated recipes, and craft those cute things.

So here is a list of our homestead-craftiness:

Gardening:
* 124 square feet of raised bed garden space.
* Additional beds of strawberries & garlic, plus blueberry plants, rhubarb, 4 fruit trees, and hops on the garage.
*Herbs and flowers in the front, as well as a hedge of raspberries edged with artichokes.

Food:
* Homebrewed beer, all from the grain (as opposed to extract- it's like making a cake from scratch vs boxed mix), often using home-grown hops.
+ Home-fermented cider (from apples we press ourselves, grown by us & Matt)
* Homemade rootbeer (from extract, but still)
* Homemade cheese: mozzarella, ricotta (both milk and whey-style, queso blanco
* Homemade sausage. R loves doing this, I just help turn the handle because I hate raw ground meat.
* homemade sauerkraut and pickles, the lacto-fermented REAL version, not the add-vinegar quick way.
* home canned peaches, jams, tomatoes, chutney, and all sorts of other preserves.
* I often bake complicated cookie/ dessert recipes, usually involving some kind of caramel. The last ones I made were copycats of GSA Samoas. All treats in our house come from scratch, not a box or a mix. They taste 500 times better that way.
* Homemade candies: caramel, fudge, divinity, lollipops, fondant eggs, praline, chocolate frogs, marshmallows, beer brittle, toffee.
* We bake bread, sometimes by hand, sometimes in the machine, often using the 3-min-a-day recipes. Also pizza crust.
* Homemade pasta. We haven't done it in a while, but making squash raviolis are on the list for next week's dinner.
* Sssmokin! R got a smoker for Christmas a couple years ago and has smoked: tofu, salmon, many kinds of cheese, almonds, scallops.
* And let's not forget the contribution of eggs by our 3 chickens. :)
* We often try new recipes from all over the world. We've made etouffe, gnocchi, Mongolian hotpots, lemongrass beef noodle bowls, caponata, spanikopita, borscht, schnitzel, tikki masala, chili relleno, Ethiopian lentil stew, tagine, potstickers, ceviche, sushi, wood-fired pizza, kalua pork, etc. Tonight's dinner is pad see ew.
* Also this is not crafty, but trendy- we source all our meats locally from small, sustainable farms (4-H kids, if you want to know) and catch our own clams and crabs.

Crafty:
* I've knit over 200 things, including probably 30+ sweaters.
* I dye yarn about 3 times a month, and am learning more about using natural dyes (as opposed to food coloring, which I use now).
* I now create yarn on my spinning wheel! The other day I spun 5 oz of fluff that I dyed myself and got 315 yards of lightweight wool!
* We make our own soap from the melt & pour glycerine. I currently have 25 lbs of goat-milk base R gave me for Christmas. ;)
* I'm in the midst of sewing a green pleated skirt for St. Patrick's Day. I've made a couple other skirts, pillows for our couch, tote bags, the dog bed, etc.
* Woodworking- R has made shelves, spice racks, tables, display racks, a sweater cabinet, a nice box for my knitting, a cribbage board, etc.

Construction:
R built our garage himself, aside from the concrete and framing, which had to be done by professionals. He's also built several retaining walls, our garden shed, a stone patio, a pergola for the grapes over the patio, a trellis for wisteria, and the chicken chalet.

I'm sure there are a million things I'm forgetting, and things that don't really have a good space like "we make our own granola." But yeah, we're foodies, and we're weird. Apparently that currently makes us hip. Crazy.

She's Crafty

Argh, trying to do a Halloween costume without a sewing machine is frustrating. It does make you come up with creative alternatives though. I was planning on using a costume I had previously created (for the 7th HP book release), but then I realized that the only of my local friends who might recognize Luna Lovegood is the one who can't host the party because she'll either be in labor or busy with a newborn/ being overly pregnant, so that's a bust. So instead, we are hosting the Halloween party, and I am going to be an obnoxious pseudo-punk teenager. I am thinking I might have to make the waistband of my gross red pleather skirt out of electrical tape. I just have to say, I dislike pleating fabric- it's tedious.

I've also been working on the dogs' costumes. Normally we don't dress them up, viewing that as a bit, uh, freakish, but since the party is at our house they will be SuperStitch and LiloBug. I'm sure there will be photos at some point. I've also been busy making bats & ghosts & things out of felt, and knitting black widows & eyeballs. I refuse to buy cheap plastic crap to bring out of the closet once a year as decorations. We've got lots of little pumpkins from our garden (and natural spider webs, ick) and I have felt & crappy yarn I bought previously to use a tiny bit for trim on a knitted item, so I'm making do with what I have. It's not exactly simple living, but it's better than going to Wallmart & buying junk.

On the food front, I made some blondies with dulce de leche for craft night tomorrow, but they came out way too gooey, so I'll make chocolate chip cookies instead (or something). Tonight we made chipotle chicken in the crockpot, which we ate as tacos with homemade tortillas (really, the only way to go, they are SO much better) and salsa (not always better, but it was this time), along with avocado & cilantro, very tasty. We're using the crockpot more often now, it's pretty handy.

Off to tape red pleather....

Picture post!

First of all- I got my phone back. I was really worried because the battery was low, and the guy didn't call back that evening. I even called the phone just so I knew it hadn't gone dead. Then the guy called (at 7:30) the next morning, and we had our phone by noon! The first thing he said (after introducing himself) was "Don't leave your phone laying around, people will do things to it!" Sure enough! He found the gem just before he spotted my phone, so figured it was fate & glued it on. Then he added some leather around the antenna (because the dogs had chewed it). It's Pimp my Phone, I suppose. But it was very awesome of him to pick it up and get it back to me. So send good thoughts to Bruce!

Next up, we have Stitch & Lilo, before and after the haircuts which were the cause of the whole lost phone debacle. We love it when they are so fluffy and furry, but they probably appreciate having shorter hair in the summer, especially since they hate being brushed, and their hair tends to mat when it's so long.
So now they have quite short hair, but they are so soft!

Now, gardeny goodness! This is a shot of all 3 beds, and in the background you can see the hops on the garage. The green water walls hold peppers, eggplants & basil, the red ones are all tomatoes. The mini-bed holds tomatoes, a pepper, a zucchini, and 2 hills of pumpkins, which I just planted. The big bed adjacent to it is mostly still small sprouts and salad greens as well as zucchinis, and peas & tomatoes on either end, carrots interspersed w/ the tomatoes. The big bed further on still needs to be pulled, bolting celery, onions & parsley from last year. It also has a lot of salad-type sprouts, broccoli, some baby cucumbers, and just-planted beans & spinach & beets. I also planted some potatoes today in trash bags, we'll see how they do. Dinner last night was a salad made of garden lettuce & arugula & strawberries (and non-garden pecans, blue cheese, & vinagrette), yum!

And last, and certainly least, we have my latest craft project- The "It's 11pm and I Suck at Sewing, So Let's Make a Skirt" Skirt! I patterned this after another drawstring skirt I have that fits very well (on the loose side) but I must not have allowed enough for the seaming, because the end result is fairly tight. Unfortunately, I also forgot the "wash the material before you use it" rule, and it is flannel, so likely to shrink even more. Perhaps this should be my inspiration to get back in shape- exercise every day until the skirt fits better!

Hyooge hats & endless scarves, or Knitted Gifts

Heh, I finished Eli's apple hat the other day, except for the leaves, but I'm worried it's too big. I actually accosted 2 of Ryan's friends when they came over for beer last night & made them try it on. One of them is the same hat size as E-ster, and it actually appeared a bit big, damn. I will try shrinking it in the dryer, it's mostly cotton.

Other than the hat & the baby onesie, I haven't been doing too much knitting, though I FINALLY finished the fringe on the Gryffindor scarf tonight at an excellent Crafty Night. I gave up on organizing those a while back because sometimes it felt like twisting arms to get people to agree to a date & actually show up, but I enjoy them so much, I might have to work harder now to make them happen. It was so fun! I brought coconut bar cookies, an improvised recipe with a shortbread crust, toasted-coconut carmel middle, and chocolate coating. They were delicious, but quite sweet. It's funny how some people bring the same things over and over again, and some of us choose a different recipe each time. And it was so cute to see Doris pregnant!

School is officially out now, so I'm done with subbing for the year. I still don't know exactly when I'm starting at the Parks, nor do I know if I'll be long-term subbing next fall. Oh well, not as though I have plans that would be ruined either way! Sometimes being flexible is very nice. I'm actually glad we are starting late this summer anyway, because we are going up to Portland the last weekend of the month. Eli is having a birthday party using a murder-mystery game I got for Christmas, and we're going to the Organic Brewer's Festival, and my Mom should be moving into her new house that weekend, and my brother might have a son by then! Very exciting stuff!

I don't have much else to say, except I keep getting these weird dizzy spells. It happened for the first time about a year ago, and it's been happening more and more frequently lately. It literally feels like someone smacks me upside the head, my brain does that slow-motion swirl thing, it's pretty weird. I asked my Dr about it and she wasn't concerned (and I've since had an MRI of my brain for other reasons which didn't show anything other than a tiny benign growth which makes me basically infertile without meds [not that I was trying], but probably isn't making me dizzy). But she's kind of a crappy doctor, and I know it's not normal to occasionally feel like someone flushed your brain down the toilet. Maybe it's an inner ear thing? Ugh.

Frustrations

Well, not much of interest to report. I've been really rather busy lately subbing. I had my first bad experience, subbing 5 days for a speech teacher, the kids were completely unbearable by the last day. I had never written any detentions before, and now I've personally written 2, and many more were written by the attendance office and the teacher, once she returned. In two different classes, people just skipped out, just walking away from class, assuming I was powerless or too stupid to notice, so I took role again and turned the skippers in. Saturday school for you, jerks! I told the teacher that this was the first time I have honestly hated being a sub. Usually the kids are worse behaved than for their regular teacher, but not flat-out rude and disrespectful and impossible to control like these classes. But then Fri I subbed for one of the Spanish teachers, and it went very well.

It was nice to get a little chance to work on my Spanish (and actually, I got to practice a bit of German too, oddly enough), especially since we are leaving for Central America in just about 3 weeks! We need to make sure we have all the gear we need, and that everything else is in order. The most confusing part is actually the part that should be the easiest- we are planning to stay at a friend's family's cabin, but are unable to get a hold of the neighbors who can let us in. But I'm going to endeavor to not worry about it. Pura Vida, right? We'll just live and experience things as they come! I do hope we get to see a sloth, and some of the different monkeys! We recently bought a new camera, so I'm sure we'll have good photos to show off when we return.

Now I just need the yarn I ordered to get here so I can finish the Christmas presents for my friends in Seattle before we go up there! (Hogwarts scarves.) Oh, and we've got tons of work to do on the garage and in the garden before we leave too!