love/ hate

The problem is, I can sit here and wish everyone had a happy Christmas, but I know that someone I really love had an awful one. Of the "could only be worse if someone died" variety of awful. Life-crushingly, screamingly horrid.

So now I'm grappling with 2 of the great mysteries of life: Why do bad things happen to good people? and How can human beings be so cruel? That second one is something I ponder often, as I'm completely unable to wrap my brain around the idea of the horrid, greedy, hateful, destructive, mean things people do; but in this case it has the added twist of, "how can people be horrifically cruel to those they claim to love?"

And it bothers me that I hate someone now. I disliked him before- had no respect for him, thought he was not a good person, knew he was selfish and manipulative and didn't treat people the way someone who purports himself as a "good, God-fearing Christian" ought to (he is of the type who make "Christian" a bad word). But now I hate him. I really hope Karma exists, because he's got a lot to make up for (and my friend surely must have a lot of good times due, they've been due for a while now). And I really hate that he made her feel it was all her fault, that he took away her strength, that he tried to destroy who she is and replace her with who he wanted, and that there is nothing I can do or say to make things better for her.

Why are people evil? What kind of person chooses cruelty over love?

Alfie the Christmas Tree

When I was young, one Christmas tradition my family upheld without fail was to listen to John Denver and The Muppets, A Christmas Together. One track that always spoke to me wasn't even a song, it was a poem written and spoken by Denver himself. Here it is, my Christmas sentiments for you:

Did you ever hear the story of the Christmas tree
Who just didn't want to change the show?
He liked living in the woods and playing with squirrels
He liked icicles and snow.

He liked wolves, and eagles, and grizzly bears
And critters and creatures that crawled
Why, bugs were some of his very best friends;
Spiders and ants and all.

Now that's not to say that he ever looked down
On a vision of twinkling lights
Or on mirrored bubbles and peppermint canes
And a thousand other delights.

And he often had dreams of tiny reindeer
And a jolly old man in a sleigh
Full of toys, and presents, and wonderful things
And the story of Christmas day.

Oh, Alfie believed in Christmas, alright
He was full of Christmas cheer
All of each and every day
And all throughout the year.

To him it was more than a special time,
Much more than a special day
It was more than a special story,
It was a special kind of way.

You see, some folks have never heard a jingle bell ring
And they've never heard of Santa Claus
They've never heard the story of the son of God.
That made Alfie pause;

Did that mean that they'd never know of peace on Earth
Or the brotherhood of man?
Or know how to love? Or know how to give?
If they can't- no one can.

You see, life is a very special kind of thing
Not just for a chosen few;
But for each and every living, breathing thing
Not just me and you.

So in your Christmas prayers this year
Alfie asked me if I'd ask you-
Say a prayer for the wind, and the water, and the wood
And those who live there, too.

Bad weather sucks

Well, this was supposed to be Family Christmas Weekend at my Mom's but due to freezing conditions and snow in the valley, we're staying put. This means there will be no family time at all this Christmas, and it will be another year of Christmas at home, only distinguishable from any other day by the opening of our presents (at this point, to my knowledge, we have 2). Oh, and prime rib and cheesecake for dinner, which admittedly is quite abnormal. And fatty.

But also not having family time means I can just mail any unfinished gifts after Christmas instead of rushing to finish them. You might be wondering how I can have unfinished gifts (besides the Pretty Blanket Which Will Take Forever for my Mom), since I started knitting them months and months ago? Well the answer is LAST MINUTE REQUESTS. Hooray for people who neglect to tell you until the week before Christmas what they want- and it includes handknit items! This is forgivable of the 8 yr old with slacker parents (he wants fingerless gloves- easy peasy), but less so in the 20-something knitter. In her defense though, she said no problem if it wasn't done by Christmas. Oddly enough, it probably will be, but it sure isn't making it to Seattle by mail in 5 days, especially since I'm currently waiting for my newly-dyed yarn to dry so I can start knitting.

That's right- simply knitting is not enough for me, I've taken one more step into the woolly and wonderful world of fiber arts by taking up hand-dyeing! It's actually really easy and fun (though similarly to knitting it's much less fun when it's not turning out properly). I'm using food coloring and Wilton's frosting paste with citric acid, so I can do it in our crock pot, no worries. It's so cool to blend colors, dump the dye onto white yarn and turn on the crock pot, only to come back later to colored yarn in clear water. Thus far I have dyed 2 skeins of fingering weight silk & merino yarn light greens & blues for my Aunt's shawl (she's doing well, but hasn't started chemo yet) and now some bright green aran wool/ cashmere for the last-minute gift, a slouchy cabled beret which I hope will well-received, even if it is late.

Other than the dyeing and blanket, I'm also working on a cardigan for myself. I was supposed to sub once this week, but it too got canceled due to nasty weather in the valley- school here was in session, but sporting events in other towns that required teachers to miss school were canceled. Last weekend I made panforte, a Tuscan Christmas dessert we enjoyed in Siena (tons of ground nuts and chopped homemade candied citrus peel- it took FOREVER). Thursday I attended R's office holiday party, did a lot of running around, and made applesauce cinnamon cake for craft night, which we hosted. I also read Yarn Harlot (much of it out loud to R, because it was so funny). I'm definitely a very different type of knitter, but I did thoroughly enjoy the book.

I guess it's time to make Christmas cookies now, eh? Maybe glazed sugar cookies, which are one of my favorites, though labor-intensive. And heating up the oven helps keep the house warm; you can really see why things like casseroles and baked dishes are traditionally winter foods- not only do they warm you, the also warm your house! It must have been important in the days before central heating. Speaking of toasty warmth- I'm going to go help put up my birthday hammock in the garage to enjoy the glowing fire. So as a jolly old man once said- Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Of mats & maps

Last night was my final class of gymnastics, though apparently I can continue going to open gym any time I want for a small fee. The guys convinced us to try wall flips, since it was our last day. That's the kind of "run up the wall, jump off backwards, and flip around to land on your feet" kind of thing you see on TV. The guys spotted us, helping us flip the first few tries, and then I did it without any help at all! It was pretty cool, certainly an adrenaline rush. I wish I had a highlight reel of my time in the gym, showing some of my cool accomplishments and funny accidents (flying off a spring board and not flipping at all so I belly flopped onto the mat, etc).

The dogs are getting their hair cut today, we're trying a new groomer in hopes that they won't come back shaved. I know it doesn't get cold here compared to a lot of other places, but it's stupid to cut a dog's hair to 1/2 inch when it's 50 degrees out, especially when we asked them not to. We'll see how they turn out. It's supposed to be very wintery this weekend, with some wind and even snow. I just hope the power stays on- but at least we have a wood stove now if it does go out for another 20+ hours.

And randomly, here are the countries and states to which I have traveled.

visited 8 countries (3.55%)

(I’m not counting layovers in either countries or states, unfortunately- It would add New Zealand, and Texas, New Jersey, & Minnesota. Also, it’s possible we drove through Nevada when I was a kid, I’m not sure.)

visited 11 states (22%)
Create your own map
The silliest part is that our next trip will be returning to Germany & Italy; though I’ll finally be able to add Switzerland as well, so at least there will be one more red blotch on my map. ;) Too bad we didn't end up able to finally go to Mexico this Christmas.

The holidays are upon us.

Well, we have a nice, quiet Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house in Medford with my Mom and the Dogs (my Aunt's poor cat was under house-arrest in her room all weekend). We successfully avoided the mall on the worst shopping day of the year, though we did buy two things, of which i am not proud. But I got the yarn I wanted to make myself a cardigan (whenever I finally finish my endless gift knitting) and we finally got a frame for our print of a watercolor of the Ponte Vecchio R got in Florence while he was in College. It went up in the bathroom, and looks nearly perfect! Sorry to anyone who had hoped we might be in Portland for the weekend. We are still arguing over whether or not we will be up for the weekend before Christmas for an early family celebration before my Mom and Aunt leave for Cabo (flights didn't go down enough for us to go, regardless of swiftly dropping fuel prices).

I worked every day last week (though 2 were training for Head start substitutes, which pays half my regular rate), and am working the first 2 days of this week (science, yay! lots of time to knit during videos). So I've been pretty busy, and on top of that, I've now got a nasty cold, of the yucky nasal & chest variety. It's made me feel weak at gymnastics, which is sad, because this is the last week. I've got the round-off, back-handpring combination on the floor fairly well, along with front handsprings. Now I'm learning "fly handsprings" where you jump into it, not step into it. I still can't properly land front tuck flips, but that might be due to the 6 inches of mat, which would be 6 extra inches to stand up if I could brave doing them on the floor itself.

Dispite my being sick, this weekend was a whirlwind of productive home-improvements for R. He finished sealing the concrete at the base of the outer garage walls, put up a frame to hold the laundry sink in place, and got the garage organized. I hope this truly is the last time we have to move that giant shelf. Then he put a small light over the shower, which made a world of difference, wired our potrack light, and put up the track lights in the kitchen we have been wanting for 3 years now. Now we'll never need to turn on the hideous humming flourescent tube lights again, hooray! I made double-ginger cookies and lasagna, and started my Mom's Christmas present blanket, which is going to take forever. It will be a really cool pattern, but not one I can memorize and do quickly.

I don't know why, but apparently even though I have blogger set so that anyone should be able to comment, no one can. But I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, and that you have a peaceful, reflective early holiday season. I miss you all!